Little Barry Gyles was sat in his box bedroom, watching the stars on TV. "That'll be me one day Snuggles", he remarked to his teddy bear. Snuggles the teddy bear tutted and rolled his eyes. "Heard it all before, Barry".
That night Barry cuddled up to Snuggles, wishing and dreaming that he would be a pop star. Poof! "Argh!", exclaimed Barry coughing on the smoke that filled the tiny boxroom.
"I am Simone Bogbrush, your Fairy Godmother, Barry", said the apparition, waving his X topped wand, "And I can make your dreams come true!"
"I want to be a popstar!!!" shouted Barry. "I want to be rich and famous. I want girls to swoon after me, I want to be the best known face around!!!"
"I think we can manage that....", replied Madame Bogbrush slyly, "whilst filling my own pockets he, he, he,.. ".
"What was that?" quizzed Barry.
"Oh nothing..."
Sure enough Madame Bogbrush worked her magic and within a year Barry Found himself at the centre of a brand new boyband, the best boyband in the world- The Same Direction. He had riches beyond his wildest dreams, the pick of all of the girls, too many girls some might say and he was famous not just throughout the land, but throughout the whole world!
"Oh Madame Bogbrush", said Barry counting his massive wad of money, "how can I ever thank you". "Oh don't worry about about that Barry", replied Madame Bogbrush, "my pockets are well and truly stuffed!"
"What was that?" quizzed Barry.
"Oh, nothing..."
Life couldn't get much better for Barry. Hit followed hit, girls followed girls and the coins continued to roll in. Barry could do whatever he wanted, and often did, and everyone still loved him. "Well, he's a lovable rogue isn't he?" or "he's just a young lad enjoying himself". Very well, young lads do like to enjoy themselves, but they have to pay the consequences of their actions. Pity Barry didn't really like consequences. Whilst he was up though, nothing really mattered did it. He loved everything about the adulation he received. Those groupies... Barry loved the attention. Hmmm, the attention.
"Madame Bogbrush!!!!!!" Barry shouted.
"Yeeeeesss", replied the Fairy Godmother, "What can I do for you my favourite man?"
"Well", Barry shifted uneasily.
"Go on", urged Bogbrush.
"Well", mumbled Barry, "You know when I said I wanted to be famous? Well it's great but sometimes I like to be left alone. You know, go shopping without having those dreadful paparazzi hanging off my tail. I tell you it's bloody scary you know! And getting scared for my safety! And my life!"
"Barry, Barry, Barry", replied Bogbrush. "As ever your wish is my command! A little court based superinjunction should do the trick.... hhhhaaaaaa yaaaaaaa". Bang! Poof! Cheap dry ice and smoke filled the room. "Those pesky little snappers won't bother you now my love!"
"Great stuff!" laughed Barry, kicking his heels as he left the room.
Pity for Barry though. He didn't understand the workings of fame. He didn't understand that it is give and take. He didn't appreciate that without the press and media that he would become nothing. No pictures of little Barry Gyles and the Great British Public begin to forget who little Barry is. It's a fickle old mistress the fame game. Sorry, but either Barry wanted to be famous or he didn't. We pick up the sad story with Barry looking slightly worse for wear.
"Bogbbbbbrrrusshhhhhh!!!!" Barry wailed.
"Yes my love", Bogbrush tiredly replied.
"What the hell is going on? The hits have dried up, my money is running out and since I caught syphilis the girls just aren't interested! I've just bought a house with a MASSIVE mortgage. What the hell am I going to dooooooooo!" he childishly wined.
"Well now Barry, weren't you the one who didn't want to be photographed? Remember those pesky paps?" replied Bogbrush.
"Yes, but I didn't want everything else to go away- what the hell am I going to do now? I'm down to my last million", Barry gestured.
"Barry, I have other clients you know, my life doesn't revolve around you. I have the new X Factory champion to deal with", replied Bogbrush hurriedly.
"Bam Sailey? Nobody's bothered with her, I'm the important one now sort it out!" bawled Barry. "Please Madame Bogbrush, pretty please, I'll do ANYTHINGGGGGG".
"Barry stop pulling at my coat tails. I have one last trick, but I'm not sure it'll work...."
"Thank you, thank you..."
"Barry Gyles...." the speaker robotically ordered. "You have been evicted. You must leave the Big Brother House immediately. Your possessions will be returned to you".
Barry got a few pat on the backs before climbing those famous steps slowly, building the tension for the cameras.
"It's been shite in here", he thought. "But at least I'll get some goddamn attention after all of this hassle".
He pressed the button. Drew a deep breath into his lungs. Butterflies rose into his stomach and excitement burned through his body and the door opened. He shut his eyes, preparing for the inevitable bank of flashes....
"Barry Gyles", ordered the voice. "You have been evicted".
The door opened. Barry opened his eyes. His heart sank. Nothing. Nobody. A solitary cardboard coffee cup blew in the wind. Barry glanced at the security guard to his left hand side.
"What shall I do?" he whimpered. The guard remained silent. "Shall I just... go?"
"I think that's best", the guard replied.
A little teddy bear sat alone in a boxroom watching Big Brother. "Hehehehe", he tittered.
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