The Fear
By Steven Lomax
They came for us in the middle of the night. Their sinister
entrance to the flat caused minimal noise or commotion. We instantly knew why
they had come but it was a little surprisingly as we were only minor figures in
the resistance movement. Surely they had bigger targets elsewhere? When i
opened my eyes I saw two clear blue eyes looking directly at me. I made to
shout, but a cold leather glove stifled any screams I may have had in my body.
I immediately looked over at David. His arm was twisted
viciously behind his back. His mouth had been gagged, so he too was silent. I
think we both knew what our fate would be. David’s breathing quickened as the
fear really set in. They yanked him onto his feet and began to march him out of
the bedroom door. He began a token struggle, as if it was expected of him. He
was overpowered easily by the agents. They landed powerful blows to his
stomach, bending him double in the process. A side hand jab fell onto his
shoulders, briefly knocking him unconscious. The two agents hustled him out
into the hall way, his feet dragging behind.
My turn. I decided to offer any form of resistance to these
men would be a folly. I was gagged, and blindfolded to boot. The fear and panic
began to well up inside my body. I had no idea where my feet were going. A
chilly, hard surface underneath my bare feet led me to believe I was being led
through the kitchen and out into the hall way. As we left the flat the pace
quickened. I wasn’t going fast enough so the men lifted me up and began to
sprint to the stairwell. I could hear David’s screams in the distance. He was
protesting, and fighting back. Typical David, a fighter to the last. His
screams got shriller, and louder still until I heard a harsh snapping sound,
followed by a bloodcurdling cry, full of the highest anguish. God himself in
heaven surely would have heard.
I began to feel my own pain was not far away. Compliance,
although cowardly, was the best policy. I felt myself being carried outside the
flats. The cold air hit me in the face. A car door opened and I was bundled
into the back. The car fired into life and I felt angry about my own inability
to fight back like David. He was a true hero. Since the People’s Party had
gained power, everything had changed. The nation was no longer one of peace and
freedom. They took advantage of the dire economic situation and were elected on
a reform ticket. However, their only reforms had been to remove personal
liberty, restrict movement and association, and prevent true freedom. Their
secret police had ears everywhere. A mist of fear had descended wherever you
cared to look. The Resistance was the only beacon of hope. David and I joined
apprehensively, but both knew the dangers. We knew the risks, but both would
rather die than be part of the system.
The fear of not knowing where we were going was worse
than any pain. I had heard the stories about people who ‘disappeared’. The
government was brutal, make no mistake. My hands began to go numb, and my panic
soured to new levels. I suddenly thought of David, and his own pain, and cursed
myself. The silence made it all the worse and the driver did not say a word,
compounding fear. I shouted at him, called him a traitor. He just ignored me.
He was following orders.
The car turned off the road, and continued along a
rougher terrain. We pulled up with a little skid. I imagined the dust from the
tyres drifting into the distance. I heard and felt my door open, and I was
pulled out roughly. My body whacked the floor with a dull thud. Pain engulfed
my body, the impact knocked my breath from my lungs. An agent dragged me across
the floor. I tried to get up, but it was impossible. My flimsy t-shirt began to
tear away, burning my skin across the concrete. I whinced at the pain, but drew
strength from David.
Finally they stopped and sat me against something soft
but strong. I knew it was David. What had they done to him? He was barely
conscious. He muttered something, but I couldn’t pick it up. Suddenly my
blindfold was torn off my face. I looked around so see the high walls of an abandoned
building site. The would-be houses had been forgotten and did not even have
roofs. At least God would see whatever was going to happen. These men would one
pay for their mistakes one day. I made to hug my husband, but an agent threw me
off. I expected the men to lift David’s blindfold. Instead they covered his
whole head with a cloth bag. He began to sob with panic as the realisation
finally set in as to what was about to happen. I began to cry with pain. My
soul mate was about to leave forever. I bolted forth, gripped his clothes and
tried for a quick getaway. It was useless. I got a good thump in the face as
punishment.
An agent withdrew his revolver from its holster, and
removed the safety catch. He held out his arm, and took aim. David held his
breath, sank into himself and cried out. I heard a deafening noise then a momentary
scream. David bolted back. A small hole had appeared in the cloth bag, and
steady flow of blood cascaded out. I shouted to heaven with an inexhaustible
pain. He had been taken away from me forever. A huge pressure fell onto my
chest as a wept uncontrollably. I cried out again with a primal scream. I held
him in vain, willing him to still be alive. His head slumped over from the back
of his shoulders, bobbing up and down as I shook him over and over. I leant him
back over and cried into his chest. As I looked up through my sodden hands I
saw the barrel of the revolver in the agent’s hands. My time was up. I would be
next. I would join David. I would be another number. I was about to disappear. The
agent drew aim. I sank into my shoulder, waiting for the inevitable. Click. I
froze for a split second then heard roaring laughter from the agents. They
walked past me and kicked dust in my face.
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